More and more on the cheaper end of things on Craigslist I'm seeing listings like this one, and that last one, that are illegal dwelling units if anyone cared to enforce the law. And in the case of this latest hot find, for a mere, piddling $850 a month, you could live in a sumptuous 10-by-8 room (I'm guessing) in the Portola with no kitchen, and possibly no window, but your very own pot to piss in.

Yes, the only amenity in this ground-floor, possibly windowless unit room, is the full bath, which you know has to be special because it's in the headline.

There's a photo of it below, with that plastic on the toilet seat either indicating an excess of germphobia on the part of the landlord, or indicating that the toilet has been newly installed in this ground-floor area that might even have recently been the garage, or someone's tool shed.

Note in the photo above that the landlord/photographer is careful to show you absolutely nothing about this room you might be living in except the front door that leads into a dark hallway that might be just off the front entry. This leads me to assume there is something else illegal or terrible about the place, like the fact that that small window in the front door is the only window. Or that the opposite wall has a gaping hole in it leading into a dark, molding, vermin-infested storage space.

On the plus side, it has been painted a cheery yellow.

It also seems clear from the description that only the tiniest of twin beds will fit here, and preference may be given to tiny people as well. Oh, and it is "good for one person only," and you'll be sharing utility costs, no doubt fairly, with the upstairs unit that is probably nine times this size.

apt-sad-portola-2.jpg

Perhaps this was a split-level, single-family home, and this 100-square-foot space (including the bathroom!) was all that could be carved out on that ground level?

But it is definitely not legal without shared access to a kitchen, and in a not-great neighborhood. And despite this being a perfect haven for someone who would prefer to spend most of their disposable income on heroin and feeding their pet rat, be warned: "No pets, No parties, No drugs."

Don't try to imagine the sort of party that happens here. OK fine I'll do it for you. It's the kind of party where no one is talking, somebody's watching a rerun of Barney Miller on a tiny television with a busted color tube, somebody's trying to get their friend Dave to come over with more drugs, and someone is unresponsive and possibly dead on the floor next to the bed.

Did I mention there's a shared washer and dryer? It may or may not be coin-operated.

apt-sad-portola-3.jpg
The exterior, which is supposed to be a selling point?

This is the full bath. Photo: Craigslist