I am not joking when I tell you that the above photo was snapped by a trusted tipster over the weekend at Eureka Restaurant and Lounge in the Castro, where these four chips with a bit of meat on top are being passed off as "carne asada nachos." And yes, that is how the plate arrived at the table.
As soon as you stop laughing, please consider that this dish costs $7, and it includes, as the current menu tells us, BBQ sauce, cilantro, pickled onions, spicy slaw, and ricotta salata. OK, these are clearly meant to be some sort of Southern-fusion nacho, and not your standard Tex-Mex nacho. Fine. Eureka's menu has a lot of nods toward Southern cuisine, including gumbo, fried chicken, and collard greens. And they're a well liked (and/or tolerated) neighborhood eatery that serves up the basics, including a decent burger, and has a full liquor license which is always important if you are an alcohol-enjoyer. But putting four chips on a plate and calling it nachos is a bridge too far, ladies and gentlemen.
Make no mistake: There are no shortage of high-end foodinista-type places in town where a chef might be able to get away with charging $7 or $10 or $15 on a plate of ambitiously styled "nachos" that aren't really nachos but are in fact a sophisticated spin on the idea and flavors of the homestyle thing we know as a plate of nachos, using finely sourced ingredients. The anti-foodie peanut gallery would be quick to rip such a dish to shreds as well.
But I am here to tell you that I am the first person to gladly pay $10 or $15 for such an ambitiously styled dish by a good chef, if it works, with a goddamn wine pairing and a side of salsa verde sorbet, and I still say that the above labeled nachos are an abomination worthy of internet shame.
Do your worst.