Jordan Belfort needs your help. See, he mis-spent his 20s and 30s perpetrating a now-famous fraud while amassing millions of dollars for himself on a certain New York City roadway. But luckily, by listening to Belfort — the actual, real-life "Wolf of Wall Street" -— sound off at Davies Symphony Hall next week, you can help yourself as well as Belfort and his victims.

His fame bigger than ever thanks to Leo DiCaprio's turn as the unscrupulous and rich wild man, Belfort has now embarked on a speaking tour. "The Truth Behind His Success" has made stops "from Dubai to Australia," as the San Francisco Examiner put it, with San Francisco the latest stop.

Belfort, now 52 and living in Southern California, promises to teach "the sales techniques that made him a millionaire stock broker at 26," according to the newspaper. The cornerstone of his "Straight Line" sales technique? "Persuasion," Belfort says, "which allows you, as a salesperson, to influence, to create certainty in another person than lines up to the different elements like emotional certainty, logical certainty."

What? Yes, we'll take one. Whatever you want.

Lest you think this is another example of the onetime jailbird living on the high hog after bilking his clients for their life savings and only serving 22 months in prison, fear not: by buying a ticket to hear the Wolf in action, you're helping him pay back his fraud victims.

Tickets range from $75 to $499, the profits from which go towards Belfort's sizable restitution payments, which amount to half of his income for three years and no more, he tells the newspaper a little testily (poor people are so sensitive!). You should come, Belfort says, provided you believe in redemption. Those who don't understand people "make mistakes...probably shouldn't come."

A notorious schemer comes to Silicon Valley to share the tricks that bankrupted unwitting rubes. This will go well.