"Tech hipsters are using new electric unicycles to get around town" begins this report from KRON4 on what might be the most irritating thing I have seen in a very irritating day.
Described by KRON4 as "one of the hottest new transportation trends in San Francisco," the ridiculous-looking "electric self-balancing unicycle" is comparable to, says an unidentified man I can only assume is a motorized unicycle spokesperson, the noted hipster vehicle known as a Segway, only smaller and with one wheel.
According to the presumed spokesperson "a lot of the tech groups, Twitter, Google, Facebook, they're really in love with the product because they're early adopters," or because they have no dignity and would rather look like fools than walk on the ground like the rest of us.
The spokesperson doesn't specify (nor does KRON ask) just where these tech folks are riding the vehicles, which I would like to think might get a rider verbally (no violence! Don't sue us, motorized unicycle people!) roughed up in some of the more colorful parts of town.
At a top speed of only 12.5 mph, it might be a bit scary to try to ride in the flow of vehicle traffic, though we certainly encourage these folks to try. It's also unlikely they'll be welcomed onto San Francisco's sidewalks, which don't allow vehicles like motorized skateboards and the afore-compared Segway.
That just leaves the bike lanes, in which Segways are apparently allowed. Will we soon see a motorized-unicycle-riding-hipster-techie showdown with a salt-of-the-earth-cyclist on Valencia? If so, you'd better take video and send it to us, because it can't be Tenderloin brawls all the time over here.