"Because if we can make your audio and video files smaller, we can make cancer smaller. And hunger. And AIDS." This week's episode opens with those words, from Hooli's evil overlord Gavin Belson, who created an ad for his copycat compression software Nucleus, even though it isn't even done yet. As Dinesh points out, he's probably doing it to fuck with them.
The central conflict in this week's episode has to do with the fact that they haven't incorporated Pied Piper yet, and there's already a Pied Piper Inc. in California. Pretty dry stuff! But the show still manages to be mildly funny in between such procedural tedium, with the unveiling of those t-shirts and Dinesh's "snack dick" line, repeated in all of the trailers for the show. And, we learn that Jared's real name is Donald, but because "names stick" and because Gavin called him Jared on his first day at Hooli, he became Jared. Forever.
Richard has to go to Gilroy to negotiate with the owner of a sprinkler/irrigation company there so that he can own the name Pied Piper Inc., so that they can incorporate, and so that they can then deposit Peter Gregory's first VC check which is made out to the corporation. Anyway, he does it, and the farmer decides to sell him the name for $1,000, but then Erlich goes blabbing to the internet about how their software is going to crush Hooli's Nucleus bullshit, and the farmer immediately finds out and gets angry. He calls Richard and starts yelling at him, believing he's a billionaire who just played him.
Meanwhile, we learn of the deep eccentricity of Peter Gregory, who decides to keep a company he's invested in waiting for a $15 million check to keep their doors open while he studies the sandwiches of Burger King and the differences between Brazilian and Myanmar cicadas. As it turns out, he was just thinking his way to his next $70 million via a purchase of Indonesian sesame futures. It's complicated. But he uses this projected revenue to issue these guys a bridge loan of $15 million.
The team starts brainstorming new names like "SmushIt" and "Diminisher" and "SMLLR," and Erlich decides to just go out to the desert and take a bunch of mushrooms, on a vision quest, which is the way he came up with Aviato. He ends up huddled in a bathroom at an ARCO station repeating "making the world a better place" to himself. Then he smears Richard's name and number on the walls in shit, and kidnaps a small Mexican boy who he says is himself, reincarnated.
In the end, after he drives down from Gilroy to kick Richard's ass, the farmer decides to give up the name after all, as agreed, for $1,000, after seeing what a crappy little startup operation this really is.
And Gilfoyle, who it turns out is Canadian, gets himself a work visa.