(By E. Chang)

The Week That Was:
Won 0, lost 2 against the Blue Jays.
Won 1, lost 3 against the Rockies.

24-20 for the season; tied for 2nd place in the NL West.

The Week That Will Be:
Mon: Home against the Nationals. (we won!)
Tue: Home against the Nationals. (Until There's a Cure Day w/ Rod Beck bobblehead)
Wed: Home against the Nationals.
Thur: Off.
Fri: Home against the Rockies. (Cecil Williams and Janice Mirikitani Tribute Night w/ fireworks!)
Sat: Home against the Rockies. (World Champions cap giveaway)
Sun: Home against the Rockies. (Barry Zito bobblehead giveaway)

The Bay to L.A. on I-5 isn't the most visually or olfactorily pleasing of routes, but it's the classic California road trip, and we love road trips. We love the the bad food, the good music, and making that last pitstop before hitting the Grapevine. Then it's all palm trees, Eastside Market Deli, and rooftop bars, right? Nope. It's 405 traffic, the Grove, and a skanky club in K-town. And when we get back home, we promise to never curse the fog or MUNI or Infusion Lounge ever again. Ok, Infusion Lounge is pretty skanky, but still! God bless San Francisco--there's no place like home.

So say the Giants. The boys just got home after visiting Toronto and Denver. I don't want to cast any aspersions on those two towns, but holy hell, that was the worst road trip ever. Toronto and Denver? Ugh! The worst!

The Giants scored 28 times in the past six games, or 4.66 runs per game. That's not bad! Especially when considering they scored exactly zero points on Sunday. If you score four runs in a game, you'll win just about 60% of the time. Five runs means you'll win about 70%. So what the hell, how did the Giants win only one game this week? 52. That's the number of runs the Jays and the Rockies scored. The Giants lost 28-52 this week. That's a football score.

Last week, I discussed how the Giants' identity had shifted from being the offensive team of the Barry Bonds era to the defensive team of this World Series era, and how they have been sleeping at their post in 2013. Well, the dereliction continues. As a pitching staff, the Giants are one of the worst in the National League. They are in the bottom third in ERA, home runs allowed, and walks. They have given up the third most in hits and are tied for worst in runs allowed. And the gloves behind them aren't helping. The 34 errors committed by the Giants' defense is the second highest in the league. 13 of those were committed in the past week alone. Compared to the Giants defense, Jay Carney's week was cake.

Meanwhile, the offense has been a mirror opposite. The Giants have the second highest batting average and hits--behind only the Rockies in both categories, and because they play in Colorado, they don't count. The Giants are third in runs scored and RBI and fourth in on-base percentage. Maybe most shockingly, the Giants are the second hardest team to strike out in the National League. At the plate, the Giants are picky, making good contact, and getting runners home.

And there you have it. This past week, the Giants were essentially two different teams playing against each other: decent production at the plate v. terrible pitching and inept defense. Team Terrible and Inept won, er, lost. We are still in the realm of small sample sizes and all of the above can be erased and negated and reversed in a few short weeks, beginning with this week. In fact, better start this week, because don't look now, but the Giants are back on the road for a whole mess of games in June. So let's get our Infusion Lounge on while we can, because it's good to be home. Speaking of, we won last night's game (too bad about Vogelsong, though).

Et cetera: you know who else is home? The Warriors :(