Bay to Breakers is this Sunday, and despite threats of crackdowns the race promises the usual madness, mayhem and loosely disguised containers of booze. Here are 15 signs you may be too over the hill to get over the hill this year.
1. You're more into Riesling than PBR these days.
2. You plan on getting up at 5 a.m. to actually run the race.
3. You're legitimately bothered by the corporate sponsorship.
4. You're appalled, not amused, by public urination.
5. You're not sure anyone should see you shirtless.
6. Or naked.
7. People dressed as babies look like babies to you.
8. You own a home on the race route and feel “get off my lawn” about the whole thing.
9. Drinking at 7 a.m. actually sounds like a horrible idea.
10. You'd rather be planting herbs in your backyard and saving your energy for Game of Thrones.
Gifatron.
11. You're more excited about the impending Stanley Roberts' footage than the event itself.
12. Your tolerance for neon and spandex is at an all-time low.
13. You've behaved badly so many times that your friends won't tell you where they're meeting up.
14. You're exhausted by the mere thought of costume creativity.
15. You've forgotten what year you graduated college.
With additional witticisms by Brock Keeling, Jay Barmann, and Andrew Dalton.
Previously: 41 Signs You're A Jaded San Franciscan
Photo: Alan Grinberg on Flickr.
