Are you near a shower and some astringent body wash? Then read on.

Three women are suing San Francisco venture firm CMEA Capital and former chief operating partner John Haag for sexual harassment, racial harassment and retaliation. The plaintiffs, who each served as executive assistants at the firm's Presidio office, have aired some appalling allegations, according to a Fortune report.

A long and cringe-worthy list of anecdotes document Haag's alleged behavior towards the plaintiffs, from anal and oral sex references, nicknames like "muffy" and "dirty bird", and all manner of denigrating language and situations that make Mad Men season one look like Sesame Street.

Below, a representative sampling from the suit, which highlights 59 itemized incidents:

On one occasion Plaintiff Hines was answering a question by Defendant Haag stating that she had not eaten and needed some protein and commenced to eat a piece of string-cheese. Defendant Haag commented, “You don’t get enough protein at home?” and then used his tongue and hand to simulate oral-sex.

The suit alleges that Haag was "particularly interested" in anal sex and would make comments about the subject.

In spring/early summer 2011, Defendant Haag asked the female investor relations employee if she liked anal sex. During a period of days around this time, Defendant Haag asked Plaintiff Hines and others how the female employee's "a** was feeling today." On another occasion, Defendant Haag asked the female investor relations employee whether they were aware that porn-stars bleach their anuses in order to make them more attractive.

Haag sounds like he really made an effort to make work NSFW.

On one occasion Plaintiff Schlagenhauf walked into Defendant Haag’s office. Defendant Haag asked her to come around to his side of the desk to help him out with something. Defendant Haag was sitting in the chair with his legs spread open and his crotch thrust out. Defendant Haag maneuvered himself in such a way so as to restrict Plaintiff Schlagenhauf’s movement away from him or to his exit his office.

All signs point to self-esteem issues and problems at home for Haag, who "would repeatedly note that he and his wife were not having sex anymore."

The female investor relations employee was telling Plaintiff Hines about a nice weekend that she had with her boyfriend, and how much she loved him. Defendant Haag walked into the office and state that the female employee should talk to him in twenty years when she was no longer having sex with her partner.
Defendant Haag announced to Plaintiff Schlagenhauf and Plaintiff Hones that he believed himself to be "an attractive guy." He asked Plaintiffs if they found him attractive.

Haag is no longer at CMEA, although the company denies all allegations. According to a CMEA representative, "this lawsuit is the result of the least 'sexy' of its allegations: the plaintiffs' curtailment of overtime in late 2012 as the result of a new Firm-wide overtime policy."

If you've got time to kill and are looking for a nasty read Fortune has the full text of the suit.