In today's installment of bucket listage, The Bold Italic has a piece outlining 30 things a soon-to-be 30-year-old should get out of their system. It's expectedly Mission District-biased and the list runs the gamut from things we got out of the way in high school (drink 40s in Dolores Park, shop at Forever 21, go to a Mission house party, work as a barista) to before graduating college (smoke cigarettes socially, tape your posters to the wall, work a shit-paying internship, wear mom jean shorts).
We get it: the list is more about things you might be embarrassed to do after hitting "real adulthood" than things you should actually try to slip in under the wire at age 29. But it reads more like a litany of ideas you'd be better off skipping altogether (do you really need to get into a fixie-related altercation or get a bad tattoo before the age of 30?) or accomplishing in your own sweet time, age be damned (like starting a tech company or getting a medical marijuana prescription).
So what's a real-life bucket list for your late twenties? Here's our shortlist of things you should actually do before turning 30:
1.) Open an IRA or 401K.
2.) Learn how to load your bike onto a MUNI front-rack in a timely fashion.
3.) Maintain casual eye contact with a store clerk while purchasing condoms and/or lube.
4.) Come to terms with your parents' impending senility and plan accordingly.
5.) Clean out your fridge.