Just a short Prius drive away from the Silicon Valley campuses of Facebook and Google lies Atherton, California: America's fourth richest zip code, where the median home price last year was a startling $4.9 million. It also happens to have some of the quaintest crimes ever recorded. Here now: a sampling of crimes actual Atherton residents reported to the police, as recorded in the San Jose Mercury News.

Originally posted on a First World Problems sub-Reddit, the items include multiple incidents where local residents feared a stranger was at their door when, in fact, it was just someone delivering a package. It would seem some plucky blotter writer at the Mercury News really has their work cut out for them. Some of our favorites, for legibility's sake:

A woman whose finger got stuck in a drain was reportedly conscious and breathing.
A pedestrian was reported not to be doing anything strange other than wearing black pants and a white dress shirt while walking at an odd hour.
A man on campus at Sacred Heart School reportedly followed a janitor around asking odd questions.

And the always classic:

A resident asked for help finding a lost cat.

H/T: Gawker