By Daisy Barringer

My mother always taught me “If you don’t have some thing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” So therefore, I will not be writing a column about yesterday’s horrific 49ers loss to the St. Louis Rams. The End.

Ugh, I wish. Unfortunately, my mother taught me that lesson before the Internet was invented, a medium that effectively destroyed any remaining sense of decorum we had left. So, with apologies to the little girl inside of me who truly does believe kindness is under-rated and under-employed, here goes nothing.

Dear Coach Harbaugh,

First, let me tell you what a pleasure it’s been to have you as the coach of the Niners. You came in and truly turned things around. 13-3 with a run at the Super Bowl last year? It was a thing of glory to watch. It’s clear the players respect you and that you respect them. More than that, it’s clear you want the best for this team. That you live and breathe 49ers’ football. That you want to win. I really appreciate all of that about you. I mean, I’m such a fan that there have been more times than one when I wished you were my father. (No disrespect to my actual father, of course, except, oh wait: That’s what happens when you disappear from someone’s life when she’s a baby. Your daughter starts to wish she could replace you with men you could never
be. Like Coach Harbaugh. And at times, Tom Selleck.)

However, Coach, in the last few weeks things have spiraled out of control. And, sorry to say it, but I blame you. You might be perplexed as to what I’m speaking of since the Niners actually won their games against the Saints and the Bears, but I think if you look deep inside, you’ll discover that I’m right.

Let’s start with the obvious: Your decision to put Colin Kaepernick in at QB because when Alex Smith got a concussion, you got a chance to see Kaepernick’s “hot hand” in action. I’ve beat to death the discussion of which QB should be starting for the Niners, so I’m sure you’re familiar with my arguments. (I mean, you do read my columns, don’t you… mind if I call you Dad?) I disagree with a starter losing his job because of an injury. I disagree even more when that starter was the NFC Player of the Week in his last complete game. You’re now encouraging players to lie about their symptoms because, hey: you can’t see straight today? Well guess what? When you can see straight tomorrow, you might not have a job anymore. (Would you do
that to a pregnant woman on maternity leave? No. You know why? Because it’s illegal.)

And I get it, life isn’t fair. Football isn’t fair. But mostly, I feel like so much of what you worked so hard to accomplish with Alex Smith, building him up when he needed it most, instilling confidence in him when no one else could... I feel like a lot of that good has been wiped away. I know you have to do what you think is best for the team and clearly you think that is Kaepernick. "In Harbaugh We Trust," everyone says. Except right now? I’m having some trust issues. (And yes, that’s something I’m working on in therapy, but you’re NOT helping.)

The truth? If Alex Smith started Sunday's game against the Rams, we would have won. As suspected, after just a few games, other teams are already figuring out Kaepernick’s thing. Everyone looooooves how Kaepernick can throw the ball down field for huge gains? Well guess what. The Rams held him to only two passes of more than 20-yards.

Even worse? He made rookie mistakes. “Oh, it’s a learning opportunity,” people say. Well guess what, people? I want to go to the Super Bowl. There’s no time for learning; just playing and not screwing up.

And unfortunately for the Niners and Niners fans everywhere, Kaepernick’s mistakes were what cost us this game. (And Akers, duh, but I’ll get to him later.)

The Biggest Three Mistakes

1. Kaepernick’s throw from the end zone that did not get back to the line of scrimmage resulting in a safety. Was it a bad call? Absolutely. Does Smith even put us in that position? No.

2. Kaepernick’s pitch to Ted Ginn, Jr. that was recovered by the Rams for a touchdown? First of all, that’s on you because that call makes no sense. But guess who else it’s on? Kaepernick. Again: Alex Smith doesn’t make that mistake.

3. Kaepernick failing to stay in bounds at the end of the fourth, effectively saving the Rams a timeout and giving them the opportunity to tie the game? Smith definitely doesn’t do that.

And yet, for whatever reason, you’re claiming that Kaepernick will start next week against the Dolphins.

Listen, the Kaepernick experiment was fun for most. We got to see that our back-up quarterback will one day be a great starting quarterback. The key word here? One day. Not yesterday. Not next Sunday. And certainly not on the road in New England and Seattle.

We don’t have time to screw around, Coach. What we need now are solid victories. We’re currently a half a game ahead of the Packers and the Bears. We can’t risk losing home-field advantage or a bye week because of a QB who is learning on the job.

If we had a horrible defense, maybe that would make sense, but we don’t! We have one of the best defenses in the league. And they did EVERYTHING right yesterday as they do most days.

Ever heard the expression “defense wins championships?” I’d assume as much. So you should know that all we need right now is a smart, experienced quarterback who can lead the team and make minimal mistakes (and a new kicker). I don’t know who’s going to replace Akers (probably no one), but I do know that quarterback is not Colin Kaepernick. It’s Alex Smith.

Listen, I know this isn’t going to be a popular opinion. There are lots of people who really do think the time for Kaepernick is now. Maybe a few of them will even say so in the comments. (Fingers crossed!) But while I really do like the kid, tattoos and all, his time is not now. There’s no way he’s feeling confident after yesterday’s performance; he even took all of the blame when some of it definitely does fall on you.

The issue? Now you have two quarterbacks who are doubting themselves when just a few weeks ago, you had zero. (In theory, Alex Smith is confident enough not to doubt himself, but even though he’s been nothing but a class act since you created this fiasco, you do have to admit, there’s a part of him somewhere that feels like you let him down. Like you stopped believing. And if you do put him back in and he screws up as a result of that, well, sorry my friend (Dad), that’s on you, too.

Of course, there’s much more to yesterday’s ridiculous overtime loss than just Colin Kaepernick. I’ve already mentioned some of the play calling and, ultimately, it’s David Akers who missed the 51-yard field-goal try in overtime. He’s made just 15 of his last 24 attempts and as a result, he’s costing us games. I know he feels horrible, but guess what Akers? SO DO WE ALL. I don’t know what to do about this, but luckily, I’m not the Coach some just girl with a computer and a love of the game.

Ultimately, Coach, I’m truly one of your biggest fans. I am so glad you’re our coach. MY coach. I do respect you and I do trust you. All I’m asking is that you take a step back and look at the big picture. That you do what gives us the best chance to win. To go to the Super Bowl. I have my money saved up for a trip to New Orleans this February. All I need is for you—and the rest of the team—to make that happen. I know you can do it. (Just, maybe, put Smith in. In case that wasn’t clear.)

Lots of Love,
Daisy Barringer
One of the MOST faithful 49ers' fans on the planet. - Jed York, CEO of the 49ers.