(By Daisy Barringer)

A tie. A tie. A [insert expletives here] tie with the Saint Louis Rams. Combine that with this brutal hangover and the fact that my voice is completely gone, and I just want to crawl back in bed and wake up tomorrow. At that point, I will find out where David Akers lives and go toilet paper his house. Don’t worry. I asked some police officers at the game last night if doing so might get me arrested and they said considering everything, it seemed completely fair. Gotta love our boys in blue.

Yesterday was poised to be a perfect day. The sun was shining. I was taking a loyal Niners’ fan to her first-ever game at Candlestick. Everyone was smiling, tailgating, drinking, ready to kick some Rams’ butt. I mean, the Niners were favored by eleven points playing against a team who was coming off of three straight losses — their last one by 38 points. THIRTY EIGHT POINTS. This was just supposed to be one of those games where you sit back, drink a bunch of beer, and enjoy the beat down.

Unfortunately, that is not what happened. It was apparent early on that this was going to be a brutal game what with the defense allowing 159 yards and two touchdowns on the Rams first and second drives. Just like that, the Niners were trailing by 14 points and it was time for more beer. A lot more beer.

It felt like things were turning around a bit in the second quarter when Alex Smith ran a quarterback sneak on 4th and 1 and got the first down. A few plays later, he connected with Crabtree who ran in for the touchdown. High fives all around; we remembered that we could definitely win this game. I mean, it was the Rams. The Rams!

But then I saw Kaepernick trot on the field after the Rams went three and out and I was livid. Why is Kaepernick in?" I screamed, much to the delight of the people around me. "What the fuck!" (Sorry parents with the nine year old boy.) This is ridiculous! And that’s when I saw it: Alex Smith leaving the field with a trainer by his side. A concussion. A concussion from that quarterback sneak. Kaepernick wasn’t in because Harbaugh was reverting to his coaching trickery; Kaepernick was in because he had to be. Frankly, I don’t know which is worse.

To be fair, Kaepernick put on an impressive performance once he found his rhythm. His 7-yard scoring run was fun to watch; the kid definitely has moves. And Gore did his best to help out when he ran the ball for 20 yards for a touchdown after the Rams fumbled on the kickoff. Within the span of 17 seconds, the Niners were up 21-17. But then the Rams exacted their revenge for Akers fake field goal touchdown pass to Crabtree last year by faking their second punt of the day. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, are you KIDDING SPECIAL TEAMS THAT YOU LET THEM PULL THAT ON YOU TWICE? Especially when the second faked punt kept a
drive alive that ultimately resulted in a Rams touchdown that put them up 24-21.

Luckily Akers was able to kick the tying field goal with three seconds left in the fourth to send the game into overtime, although if we’re being honest, I’m not quite sure how lucky anyone really felt at the end of the fifth quarter.

The Rams basically would have won the game if Bradford’s 80-yard pass to San Francisco’s two-yard line on the first play of overtime hadn’t been called back due to an illegal-formation penalty. (Thank God.) And then San Francisco would have won if David Akers who frankly has been kind of sucking lately hadn’t missed a 41-yard field goal attempt. What’s up Akers? You can kick a 63-yarder in Green Bay, but can’t make a 41-yarder when we need it most on you home field? Then the Rams should have had the win again when they kicked a 53-yarder, but a delay of game penalty moved them back five yards and their 58-yard attempt went wide right.

Basically, if a car full of clowns had driven on the field and start juggling and doing acrobatics, it would have made more sense at that point than anything that was happening on the field.

Ultimately, the game ended in a tie. A stupid, worthless, good-for-nothing tie. The 49ers first tie since playing the Falcons in 1986 when Jeff Kemp was in for an injured Joe Montana. They say a tie is like kissing your sister, I had a slightly different take on it last night in my drunken stupor, but either way, it basically just sucks.

As Ahmad Brooks said last night, “It actually feels like a loss.” As it should. Because we didn’t win.

I don’t even know who to blame for what went down yesterday. Everyone, I suppose. Our offense was actually decent, considering the circumstances, so I suppose they can have a pass, but our defense was horrendous, our special teams was an embarrassment all around, and our coaching was totally uninspired. This is the third time this season the Niners have looked completely mediocre and frankly, it’s starting to frighten me. I have high hopes for this team, but when I see things like how we played yesterday, it makes me question if they can live up to them. Certainly yesterday’s performance was not one that is worthy of the playoffs.

There are still seven games left in the season. Anything can happen. Next up: Chicago on Monday night. Jay Cutler and Alex Smith both have concussions, so it remains to be seen if either of them will be cleared to play. All I know is that is a must-win game. The Niners need to come out fast and ferocious like we know they can. The question is: do they know they can? If I were them, the tie to the Rams would certainly have put a lot of doubt in my head. I just hope they can overcome it.

I don’t mean to be a Daisy Downer, but I think anyone who watched that game would agree with me that there was a shift in perception when the Niners couldn't pull it out in overtime. Something changed. I could almost see the belief leaving people and swirling in the air above Candlestick. We felt deflated. Disappointed. And more than just a little let down.

Luckily, I know one thing that’s going to cheer me right up. So if you’ll excuse me, I have 24 rolls of Charmin to buy and a visit to pay to one very lonely kicker.