By D. Hanousek

You may or may not have noticed that two weeks ago, I took the day off from writing . I wasn't going to talk about it because I'm inclined to keep most details about my personal life private. But this week's topic was inspired by a personal event: I took the day off from writing because my husband was in a very serious accident. During his recovery, I have become even more aware of how little credit dads receive, especially in San Francisco. (There's a reason why this column's title uses the word "Parent" and not "Mom.") Becoming more and more frustrated with gender parenting stereotypes, my confession is: I don't get why SF dads get the shaft.

I have always been well aware that my husband acted as the primary parent in my kids' lives, at least, in their early lives. After I did my job popping each one of them out, my husband took over, taking the night shift, letting me nap, changing most of the diapers, etc. This is just how the parenting roles happened in our family. Now that our children are getting older, I’m taking on more developmental responsibilities, especially with our son who will soon be four; however, since my husband's accident, I have been doing double duty. I always appreciated his hard work with the kids, but now I really appreciate his efforts.

And from what I've seen around San Francisco, this seems to be the norm. Those parents on the playground trying to strike up conversations with me? Mostly dads. The parents dropping off and picking up their kids from daycare and preschool? Mostly dads. The parents sitting in uncomfortable, awkward meetings with preschool teachers? Mostly dads. Riding on the wimpy, little steam train at the zoo? Mostly dads. (Friends offering to help you out when your husband is in the hospital? Mostly guys.) Now, I'm not saying that SF moms aren't active enough in their children's lives. I could list just as many things I see mostly moms doing; wiping drippy noses, taking kids to the library, etc. It's just that, from what I've gathered, I don't think people acknowledge dads as much as they do moms.

For example, why are play groups called "mommy groups?" And, "The Golden Gate Mother's Group?" Why are doctors always asking the mom for information about their child when the dad is sitting right next to her? Irritating.

The other day, while at the gym watching Smash, a Huggies ad came up on Hulu. The ad pissed me off so much that I almost fell off the treadmill. In it, Huggies diapers undergo the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE of babies being left alone with their fathers. What the fuck? And I'm not the only one who's pissed. Check out the commercial and some angry comments here. Huggies argues that the company celebrates dads in the commercial, but others think they're just pandering... not to mention ignoring gay fathers altogether.

Dads are awesome. The world is changing and parenting roles aren't immune. Time to get over mommy-centric thinking and celebrate all parents.

Follow me on Twitter @DHanousek

Confessions