Today in the local news beat, ABC7's Dan Noyes has uncovered an unfortunate problem plaguing one Nob Hill bus stop: a local woman has been using it as her own public outhouse with striking regularity. The woman, who goes by the name "Ling Ling", rides the 27 bus up to Leavenworth and Clay Streets every day to do her morning business in the Muni shelter on the corner. Afterwards, she pulls up and transfers to the 1-California and evacuates the neighborhood through Chinatown.

Naturally, the neighbors in Nob Hill aren't excited about Ling Ling's new bathroom, but they have taken to documenting her excrement with vigor. Of course, no everyone is so observant on what's underfoot. As one neighbor explained to ABC: "I've seen adults step in her feces when they're not looking, they're watching their cellphones, I've seen little kids step in the feces, I've seen pets step into the feces and they're going to track it back into people's homes." On some mornings, when she's not feeling the movement while she's in Nob Hill, Ling Ling will even wait to do her business out in the open on Stockton Street before heading off to her usual panhandling spot. (Which is the Bank of America at Stockton and Columbus, we're told.)

So why isn't the city getting help for Ling Ling? Apparently they are: Ling Ling has managed to set herself up with housing and food through the city, and she obviously has the capacity to ride the bus, but both of those things are making it hard for her mental health case worker to classify her as actually having a mental illness. One neighbor even called up her case worker to express his concern, but only got a curt answer: "'If you want to pay to institutionalize her, then do it," and a hangup.

Now neighbors are bringing the case to the higher-ups. Although Supervisor Chiu's office proved ineffective in wiping Ling Ling clean, the city's newly anointed homeless czar, Bevan Dufty, has come up with a solution: The next time she drops trou on Nob Hill, the cops will hit her with a ticket, forcing her to show up at a community justice center where she'll face a court mandate to take her movements to a proper toilet.