Wow. That was horrific. Don't get us wrong: We are not (that much of) a food snob, one who loudly sings the praises of "The Laundry," the latest obscure Mission District restaurant, or, far more obnoxious, an Oakland food truck. Aside from gastronomic trends that we enjoy, and then enjoy making fun of others for enjoying, we have a profound fondness for any sodium-rich treat that reminds us of our upbringing — e.g., Jeno's Pizza Rolls, Ding-Dongs. So it was with much anticipation that we headed out the door today and into San Francisco's Union Square to buy ourselves Jack in the Box's latest concoction, the Bacon Shake. Boy, was that a tummy error.
When we arrive at our nearest Jack in the Box, on the 400 block of Geary where hungry tourists tend to wander, and shyly asked for a small Bacon Shake, our cashier smirked and asked, "Have you tried it yet? It's pretty bad." And bad it was. Aggressively so.
While there were no visible chunks or bits of bacon floating in our shake, the sweet treat comes in a solid hue, almost a darker vanilla color. And the taste? A heavy, lingering bland with a touch of smoke that doesn't go away. Instead of offering a variation on salt-sweet, which could have been impressive, Jack in the Box's Bacon Shake hits the senses like smokey maple syrup. And not the good kind that, say, one might have found on their Sunday morning breakfast plate as mom's crunchy bacon mixed with Mrs. Butterworth's viscosity. The cold mound we tried to swallow was too sweet and too lifeless to be considered reasonably tasty in a pinch, or even decent hangover food.
We did, however, have fun drinking it on a variety of local Union Square boutiques. (Louis Vuitton security was not pleased.) After a few sips for this review, we tossed it into the closest trash receptacle. Too bad. We really appreciated and admired Jack in the Box's Andes Crème de Menthe shake. If you want bacon, just go and fry up the real thing.
On the brighter side, the Bacon Shake, containing an artificially-flavored bacon syrup we won't soon forget, is technically vegetarian. So, you know, there's that.