Mission Mission brings our attention to something of the utmost importance this morning: a Converse All Stars-sporting hipster streaker caught by SFPD on Thursday night. An especially brave move seeing as how last night's weather almost dipped down to freezing levels. Anyway, we're thrilled he's wearing Mission denizens' favorite choice in footwear. It made us wonder what other neighborhood locals would wear if, through a combination of drugs and alcohol (or so we assume), they too went streaking in the night.

If a zany nude runner took off in Hayes Valley, we could easily see them donning a lovely pair of Salvatore Ferragamos. In the Marina? A Kenneth Cole atrocity from DSW, probably. A streaker would sprint down 18th Street in the Castro wearing nothing but Reeboks or whatever footwear 15-year-old suburban boys are into right now. In SOMA, a black Frye Boot should be the only thing one wears while flopping their mammary glands and reproductive organs in public. In the Sunset? Flip-flops for sure. Down in Mission Bay ugly beige Uggs to match the ugly beige condos. And in the Tenderloin said hypothetical streaker would wear whatever shoes he stole off a victim from one of the aforementioned neighborhoods.

[MM]