A teen from Suisun City admitted to authorities that she lied about being abducted to get attention from her family. Christina Almanza, who was reported missing Thursday afternoon, claimed "she was being held hostage, possibly with other females, in a basement and that one female might have been killed." But is it really that bad? Weren't we all raised with sitcoms that employed the use of fake kidnappings in order to get mom and dad back together? Or something like that? She's just a teenager. A stupid teenager. Like all teenagers. (We're on your side, Christina. We are. However, the part about telling your parents that you're being held by sex traffickers was downright horrific? You don't do that to you parents, no matter what your batshit hormones and mushy teenage brain tell you.)

According to The Daily Mail, "A family friend said she had hoped the abduction story would win her sympathy from her parents and make them less angry about [her] pregnancy." Anyway, the fuzz arrested her for filing a false police report. She was later released to her parents’ custody.