Former Vice President Dick Cheney will appear in San Francisco today to speak at the fourth annual CLSA AsiaUSA Forum at The Palace Hotel. The event, according to Politico, "involves more than 200 CEOS and CFOs huddling with 500 institutional investors from 14 countries for more than 1,300 hours of presentations, workshops and private meetings." Cheney is slated to speak at around noon-ish.

Why Cheney? Well, according to the CLSA AsiaUSA Forum site: "We are excited to announce 46th Vice President of the United States Dick Cheney as a keynote speaker at the CLSA AsiaUSA Forum in San Francisco. On Tuesday, 8 November, Vice President Cheney will share his views on the economic and political state of the world today in a frank dialogue. He will also share personal reflections on his role in the White House."

Noted crooner and allegedly sexual harasser, GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain was scheduled to speak at Monday's kickoff. Mary Beth Kissane, a spokeswoman for CLSA, explained to Politico their decision to host Cain, saying: “As a respected business man and corporate maverick who has turned companies around, Herman Cain will speak on leadership and the need for innovation and breakthrough ideas to sustain growth and grow markets in the face of U.S. and increasingly global economic turmoil."

SFist rang The Palace Hotel to learn more about Dick's and Cain's speaking engagements. "I wanted to confirm what time Dick Cheney will speak today. Can you tell me when he plans on arriving," we asked the receptionist. Her oddly non-forthcoming reply? "Who... what are you with. I don't know any Dick... can you call back?"


The Palace Hotel, if you recall, recently played host to FOX News goblin overlord Rupert Murdoch and Jeb Bush at the National Summit on Education Reform on October 14. Their appearance was protested by Occupy SF members.

In related news, Ed Lee campaign wizard Willie Brown will host his annual Election Night party tonight inside The Palace Hotel's Garden Court, which will feature a bevy of the city's most powerful and pretty people. The gala, it goes without saying, is invite-only.