Vomit. McDonald's legendary McRib wad—i.e., a sandwich consisting of a pork-like substance pressed into a ribcage shape, bathed in corn syrup and heated to palatability—makes a grand return to heart valves next month. "McDonald's plans to announce Monday that the sandwich, usually available only when individual restaurants feel like making it, will be sold at all U.S. locations through Nov. 14.," beams USA Today.

The McRib, a cult favorite, came about when the company's then president wanted to add "pork" to the menu back in '80s. The barbecue abomination sparked a delightful episode of The Simpsons, wherein Homer travels across the U.S. to find the last Krusty Burger serving The Ribwich.

The McRib made a surprise return back in 2009, if you recall, but vanished just as soon as it came.

With only (!) 500 calories and 26 grams of disgusting fat, it's "slightly trimmer" than the Big Mac, which boasts 540 calories and 29 grams of fat. It's vile, harmful, and we would totally eat one right now.