Willie Brown is concerned with two things this week: Food and Women. Which is actually what he's concerned with every week. But this week the objects of his carnal and carnivorous desires are, specifically: McCalls Catering and Hillary Clinton.
According to Willie, when the "very good-looking" Secretary of State Clinton wasn't downing whiskey sours at Zuni, she was dining at Brown-favored lunch spot Boulevard. And when she wasn't at Zuni or Boulevard, she was taking her flaxen hair to a fundraiser put on by former Secretary of State (and common character in these Willie Brown columns) George Shultz and his wife Charlotte.
At the event, aforemention hair, Willie says, was the longest he's ever seen it. In her "very flattering" gold and brown getup, the former first lady was looking, "really attractive and very relaxed". If we didn't know any better we'd say Willie's frequent dinner companion and similarly golden-haired lass Sonya Molodetskaya should be keeping an eye on her man's relations with this Hillary character. We heard a rumor Hillary had some marriage problems in the past.
Speaking of marriage problems, another woman at the event caught Willie's eye in her Dolce & Gabbana leopard print dress: Clinton's aide Huma Abedin, the wife of congressman-turned-penis photographer Anthony Weiner. Abedin is (apparently), "very, very pregnant".
Also in attendance at the Shultzs' party were historical impersonators in the likeness of Ben Franklin, Martha Washington and John Adams. We're not sure if that's part of the McCalls catering package, or if the Shultzs had to pay for that separate, but it did lead to this fairly racist exchange between Willie and former SF Symphony CEO/current Charles Schwab Exec Nancy Bechtle:
Willie Brown: "I think you are the only person in the room who can trace your family's ties back to Ben and Martha here."
Nancy Bechtle: "Looks more like the people who once owned you."
Wait, what? Is that a thing you're allowed to say in Obama's post-racial America?
Not important, what really matters is that Willie had the opportunity to dine on McCalls two more times this week: At Charlotte's other event for Ed Lee, and at a MoMA show at Fort Mason. Congratulations on completing the trifecta, your honor. We're sure McCalls has already put your check in the mail.
Next up: Willie vows to put those press credentials to use and investigate the McCalls kitchen and delivery operation. Go get 'em, gumshoe!
