In the Sunday Paper this week, Michael Bauer brings back the ol' Mikey Two Stars routine and bestows two shiny ones of Sausalito's Bar Bocce. Because we'd hate to get between you, the reader, and your enjoyment of Bauer's dining experience at the "welcoming" and "casual" wine bar/restaurant/bocce court, we present five erotic quotes, mostly without commentary:

  • On the clientele: "...several patrons on the patio had had a few too many sips of wine and a zaftig woman (I'm being kind) was dancing in front of the table looking as if she were about to perform a strip tease."

  • On the space itself: "The cozy 36-seat interior has a pitched wood ceiling"

  • On the pizzas: "You pick up the slice and the point continues to stand at attention, while the rim is puffy and tender."

  • On cleanliness: "...finding a long black hair embedded in the crust diminished my appetite for only a brief minute."

  • On dessert options: "The other choice is a phallic-looking winesicle ($5.50) that looks even more suspect when arranged on a metal stand with skewers and clips that the waiter places in the middle of the table." [Ed. Note: Yelper Luci P. sexted photos of the winesicle in all it's glory.]

Sounds exotic!