Having exhausted his quiver of dumb things to say about Arnold Schwarzenegger's infidelity, Willie took off for Vegas for his Memorial Day weekend. While technically still burdened with marriage himself, Da Mayor has never let his 35-year separation loom over him before so he was more or less free to waltz along the dizzying carpets of Steve Wynn's Las Vegas resorts while ogling the ladies decked out in "shorts aplenty and bodies to match," or "dresses at nighttime that look like only tops." After Subway sandwiches, "Shorts" are a close #2 on Willie's list of favorite things, so it's safe to assume Willie had an enjoyable trip.
While in Vegas, Da Gourmayor made sure to dine in all of the finest restaurants owned by Steve Wynn. In his feature-length infomercial for Wynn's resort properties, Willie dishes about Botero, Switch, Sinatra and the can't-leave-Vegas-without-a-buffet-dinner experience at the Encore Buffet. Of Botero, Willie says, the restaurant "captures the flavor of that particular artist", which we assume means the food tastes like a large naked woman. He declares the main courses to be "fairly decent".
Of Sinatra, the hotel's premier steakhouse, Willie says the steak was the opposite of unforgettable - in fact, he wishes they had spent some money to farm out the kitchen duties to Ruth's Chris. He does not seem impressed by the restaurant's Sinatra memorabilia. The Encore Buffet's "emporium of food", meanwhile, is just a compressed version of San Francisco: It has everything from "Playland at the Beach food" to corned beef like Tommy's Joynt, table-sliced prime rib like House of Prime Rib and dim sum that might as well have come out of Yank Sing. Restauranteurs should (again) take note of Willie's observations here. If you'd like him to enjoy himself, just put everything imaginable in front of him.
Back in San Francisco, "where society meets for charity" instead of just blowing all their money on the Blackjack tables, Willie countered the crowded, claustrophobia-inducing Casino halls with a sensory deprivation dinner to benefit the Foundation Fighting Blindness. At the event attendees dine in total darkness and are waited on by blind people. This apparently leads to "a lot of touching under the table" and drinking wine straight from the bottle. As an added bonus, you don't even have to wait for everyone to be served before you can chow down. "Don't miss it in 2012!" Willie implores.
For his movie reviews this week Willie went for both the high and lowbrow blockbusters: the fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean series was "good fun", while Woody Allen's latest Midnight in Paris ought to get the director an Oscar nod. Willie recommends you "wear your Birkenstocks" to see the film because the intellectual level of the film — which stars Owen Wilson, remember — is "a challenge".
Finally in insider politics this week, Willie lets us in on a secret inside Gov. Jerry Brown's office: It's a picture of Gavin Newsom tending to "lieutenant governor duties": walking Jerry's Welsh Corgi. Come to think of it, Gavin could learn a thing or two from Sutter Brown. The pooch is a prolific political twitterer.