Willie Brown would like to talk to you about lunch. Lunch is very important, you know. (it's one of the top three most important meals of the day), and as you might have guessed, Willie Brown is a power luncher. He doesn't like the newer places for lunch because they lack a certain Willie ne sait quoi, so when he needs to throw down some serious power lunching he heads to the classics: Tadich Grill, Sam's Grill or Le Central - three places that could "house something or somebody of substance" - like a museum. Or a jail. Anyway, that somebody of substance at Sam's happens to be mayoral hopeful and city attorney Dennis Herrera, who might be a little miffed with Willie for publishing his not-so-secret lunch location. But over at Le Central, the power is a little bit softer.

Le Central's clientele is all "retail apparel merchants with their clients, style section editors, or their visiting designers," and Willie can claim some responsibility for that, we think. After all he used to stroll in to the restaurant and roll dice with Herb Caen and Wilkes Bashford. If you're looking for an obscure piece of San Francisco history, look above the bar: Herb's dice cup currently sits there immortalized in plastic." We wish someone would immortalize Willie in plastic. There really ought to be Willie Brown bobbleheads given out to the first 3,000 people at every 49ers home game.

After lunch, Willie was up to talk sports in his Sunday column this week. Well, he kind of discussed sports: He thinks Barry Bonds was ultimately convicted for being "too cute for his own good" which strikes us as a curious way to describe a man with a 36 inch neck. And weighing in on the Gary Plummer scandal, Willie thinks the former color commentator for the 49ers was just adding some color to his own, probably boring, bedroom life. We'll have to disagree though, Plummer has some really unfortunate photographic evidence (warning: ladybutts) documenting his dirty mind at work on the peninsula.

It has become increasingly apparent as this weekly column matures, that it is actually impossible for Da Mayor to attend any sort of public event without comparing it to one easily identifiable brand or another. He puts a presentation at the Bay Area Council's recent conference on the same level as "anything I've seen at either Apple or Schwab." A corporate fundraising event for the America's cup is praised as Democratic party fundraiser Mark Buell carts off Louis Vuitton bags full of money. The crowd at the presentation of the Goldman Environmental Prize is described as "the Birkenstock army." And for no reason other than to look at the big screen TVs, Willie thinks you ought to pop in to the new Armani Exchange store at Market and O'Farrell. For someone whose opinion is so widely sought after, the man seems to have a hard time describing anything without using a pre-packaged brand identity as a touchstone. How very Buick of him.

Even in his film picks this week Willie lets precedent do the talking for him:Hanna is good, he says, just like The Bourne Identity - a franchise in it's own right. Arthur, on the other hand, is merely Borat with money. We'll just let you chew on that one until next week.

[Willie's World]