Escape From New York Pizza just opened a shop at Harrison and Third in SoMa today, right in the old Goat Hill Pizza spot. That means cheap pizza by the slice! Located just across the street from Comcast Sports Net, we're certain that beefy, sporty, hungry man types will hit the place up in droves. [SFist]

Speaking of SoMa, the Fourth Street Whole Foods finally re-stocked their version of Two Buck Chuck. It's called Three Wishes wine. And it's only $3. It comes in three wild flavors: Merlot, Cabernet-Sauvignon and, ugh, Chardonnay. ("Tramps drink Chardonnay," mama Keeling would say.) No word if it's good or not -- SFoodie can tell you all about that -- but it'll get you ripped to the tits on the cheap. [SFist]

Tamara Palmer asks, "Can you identify this ball?" [SFoodie]

Paula Deen needs an intervention. Like an alcoholic, she leaves balls of butter around the house for nibbling. The hell? [Grub]

On Friday nights, Masa chef Gregory Short will present his take on a tapas menu. Braised Australian kobe beef short ribs, anyone? [Inside Scoop]

AT&T Park will cater to foodies' delicate palates this season (e.g., gluten-free hot dogs). [NBC Bay Area]

The following sentence alone makes us heart-attackingly jealous of Bunrab: "We always have a case of butter brain the day after a French Laundry meal." We can only imagine. (For what it's worth, we feel the same way after a cylinder of Pringles.) [Bunrab]

Come now, people. It was an April Fool's joke. Also, anyone who knows Andrew Sarkarati or the fine folks at Mission Mission knows that a) they would never cut in line and b) they would die before pulling the blogger card. Who do you think they are, MSM journalists?