Laura Beck's bi-weekly installment of vegan dishes worth creaming your pants over.

Vegan Charcuterie at Gather (22200 Oxford, Berkeley)

First off, charcuterie is pronounced, "char-cooter-ee". (Tee hee). Unlike in our piggy dreams, it's not a giant plate of vegan sausages topped with more vegan sausages (never ending vegan sausages forever!) but rather, a refined spread of the freshest market vegetables. Healthy? Boo! Actually, no, we can roll with the snobbiest eco foodies around. Bring on your fancy vegetables, Gather. Bring us your roulades and your chiffonades and your other bougie food words we don't fully understand. The charcuterie is a delightful dish of different vegetables sliced, diced, julienned, and combined to create a taste sensation here to for unknown. Mushroom pate, eggplant “brandade,”and carpaccio of watermelon radish and turnip. Don't understand a word we just typed but damn, was it tasty.

Vegan Cheese Plate at Encuentro (202 Second Street, Oakland)

If a charcuterie plate is not your speed (prude!), you might wish to indulge in the vegan cheese plate at Encuentro. Like Gather, it was opened by a chef from vegan food mecca, Millennium. These boys don't mess when it comes to the finest meat and cheese substitutes in the galaxy. Encuentro's cheese plate is comprised of smoked pecans, macadamia nuts, and cashew and pumpkin seeds. It's heavenly. Who knew nuts make the best vegan cheeses? It's delicious!