Patients at Laguna Honda Hospital are some of San Francisco's poorest residents, we're told. ABC 7's Dan Noyes points out they "endure a life stripped down to the barest conditions" and "comforts such as buying a soda from the hallway vending machine can be impossible with no money."

The donor-based Patient Gift Fund, however, is supposed to help these disabled or elderly patients live a slightly more comfortable life at the allegedly shoddy hospital. But, according to Noyes, "the hospital administration has been spending ten of thousand of dollars on gourmet meals, airline tickets and other items - not on the patients."

This serious accusation is what sparked this uncomfortable confrontation between Noyes and Director of Community Relations Marc Slavin. See, attempting to speak to Hospital Director Mivic Hiros, who ignored ABC 7's phone calls for an interview, this surprise encounter with Slavin, Noyes points out, "gave us some of the strangest treatment we’ve ever seen." That is to say, Slavin gets too touchy with Noyes. ("I can't say that I blame him. Dan is a tall drink of water, a smooth silver fox," coos SF Appeal's Beth Spotswood.) "Don't touch me," repeatedly uttered throughout the exchange, could very well become Noyes' signature line.