Oh dear. This fractured face here is in all sorts of trouble after allegedly trying to mow down pedestrians near the Amgen Tour of California route on Tuesday afternoon. According to BCN (via CBS 5), "police received reports of a person driving erratically in a green Mercury minivan near the bike race route. He appeared to be trying to run into pedestrians." It should come as no surprise that the incident occurred in Santa Cruz -- that adorable, wacky city that seems to have crashed into California during an acid trip -- and that the suspect, Abraham Kelly, 40, was arrested at the creepy Valero gas station at Mission Street and Miramar Avenue.

Inside Kelly's Mercury van, police uncovered "methamphetamine, two BB guns and several masks and wigs." (What, no backpack full of used CDs?)

Kelly was arrested and tossed into Santa Cruz County clink on three charges: driving under the influence of drugs, felony evading a police officer, and possession of methamphetamine.