Number of people pictured in today's "Miss Bigelow's Social City": 82

Minority count: 6 7

The help: 0

Who was celebrating what and where: California Shakespeare Theater (Cal Shakes!) hosted its 15th annual gala, La Dolce Vita, at the Four Seasons Hotel.

Getty vs Traina: 0/0

Number of people whom we recognize: 4 (Sonya Molodetskaya, Willie Brown, Wilkes Bashford, Mimi Haas)

Images of Vanessa "let's-grab-Vesper-martinis-and-oysters-soon" Getty: 0

Images lacking Vanessa "let's-grab-Vesper-martinis-and-oysters-soon" Getty: 33

Visibly homosexual: 7

Visibly thin: 1

Number of colors in Stephen Cole's bowtie: 7

The scene: Elizabethan-era awe; Eve Harringtons on the prowl

Ties, bowties, furs: 20, 17, 1

Our kinda woman: Beth Ward for wearing feathers in her hair, a face veil, a pearl choker and black gloves. (Runner-up: Simon Baker's "slight, fine-boned" wife.)