Number of people pictured in Saturday's "Miss Bigelow's Social City": 72

Minority count: 6

The help: 1

Who was celebrating what and where: At the Legion of Honor where a dubiously-named committee crawled out from under the gold bricks in which they live to attend the Fine Arts Museum's "7th Mid-Winter Gala," honoring an exhibit dedicated to gorgeous, albeit blood diamond-encrusted, jewels.

Getty vs Traina: 2 / 5

Number of people whom we recognize: 8 (Billy Getty and VANESSA GETTY, cruel PR dowager that refuses to invite SFist to her fancy events, Jennifer Siebel Newsom and Mayor Gavin Newsom, Maxx Traina, Stanlee Gatti, Le Club's Gina Milano)

Images of Her: 2

Images in need of Her: 28

Visibly homosexual: ∞

The scene: long gowns, solid colors, Vanessa Getty's luminous and pervasive aura, free alcohol, more money than you could possibly imagine

Matching color of choice for Jennifer and Gavin: purple

Ties, bowties, furs: 5, 24, 1