Number of people pictured in today's Miss Bigelow's Social City: 51

Minority count: 1

Who was celebrating what: The social registry's most vulgar at Nicola Bulgari's celebration of the re-located and re-designed Bulgari boutique on Union Square.

Number of people whom we recognize: 6 (Dede "French is a faggy language" Wilsey and John Traina, Willie Brown and Sonya Molodetskaya, Denise Hale and a PR flack who hates SFist)

Images of "Nessie," the real First lady of San Francisco: 0

Images in dire need of "Nessie," the real First Lady of San Francisco: 26

The scene: diamonds, gems, little black dresses, what recession?, illuminated staircases

Reason #54320 to adore former Mayor Willie Brown: "You mean there's actually a Mr. Bulgari?" asked Brown, laughing. "I thought it was just a label like Brioni!"

Reason #54321 to adore former Mayor Willie Brown: Sonya Molodetskaya, in pink

Visibly homosexual: 3

The single hottest man alive confident enough to attend a Bulgari boutique opening: Italian Consul General Fabrizio Marcelli