The Alice Watersization of every possible product around continued unabated last Saturday, as medical marijuana growers gathered up Mendocino way for the 6th Annual Emerald Cup marijuana awards. Judges spent the last month lighting up each of the 100 different entries in this hoobastank equivalent to the James Beard Awards. The winner? Some guy with the clever moniker of Hawaii Dave with his "cotton candy kush."

"'This year's winner is a deep purple color with iridescent orange hairs. It has a sweet berry smell and is extremely potent,' said Hawaii Dave."

Look here, hippie, this is reefer we're talking about, not a 1921 Chateau Lafite Rothschild. Medical marijuana isn't supposed to taste like something one would pick up down at the Ferry Building, because, like key word here, MEDICAL. What's next? Tasting parties for cough syrup?