Pardon us for being raised by California hippie atheists, ones who (thank God) believed in the word of television more than the word of the Lord, but... is this a problem? Are there too many guitar solos saturating the Catholic church? SF Chronicle's Mick LaSalle says so. The movie critic snaps:
Just tossing this out there: Does anybody know of a Catholic mass in San Francisco that doesn't have a guy with a guitar gumming up the works? Just talking and maybe the priest singing amen and hallelujah? If they do, let me know. They should be advertising.
What?! We've been to a grand total of two Catholic shows in our lifetime, each of them gorgeous and aroma-filled spectaculars. Since then, we've assumed all Catholic masses were filled with elaborate rituals, wine goblets, robes, bellowing, tiny crackers, PowerPoint presentations on homosexuals and Hell, chanting, those necklaces Madonna wore in the '80s, and sumptuous organ music. This guitar business is horrible news. Very tacky.
Anyway, LaSalle plans on murdering the next guitarist he hears at church. You can save him from a lifetime of frostbite in the ninth circle of Hell by finding him a guitar-free Mass.
In related news, Mick just discovered that Google Images has pornography. Blessed be!