We know that some of you plan to boycott this year's Pride because it's not angry enough, or whatever. We know that some of you will get blotto by noon today, not ready to come down until Tuesday. We know that some of you will visit San Francisco for the first time this weekend. We know that some of you will finally decide to have your very first same-sex sex experience. We know that some of you couldn't care less.

To all of you we say, have a glorious Queer Pride weekend. Here's a handy guide to get you started.