It's time for American Football Spectacular's capsule reviews of the first round in the 2009 NFL Draft. All the intrigue, all the anticipation, all the immeasurables! All hard information was culled from NFL.com's pretty excellent draft tracker site. Let's do this.

* Selection # / Team (trade info) / Player / Position / Height / Weight / School

* 01 / Lions / Stafford, Matthew / QB / 6'2" / 225 / Georgia: Welcome to the NFL, meat. Stultifyingly, the Lions didn't pick up any offensive line help in the draft, so Stafford is facing a very painful welcome into the league. This is no way to run a team. The Lions are still displaying inanity in their front office after the disaster that was GM Matt Millen. And Stafford will pay for their collective failures with his blood.

* 02 / Rams / Smith, Jason / OT / 6'5" / 309 / Baylor: Will he be the next Orlando Pace or the next Robert Gallery? The Rams' o-line has been a shambles since Mad Mike Martz's Greatest Show On Turf offensive scheme left town and injuries sidelined Pace. J.Smith is calculated to take Pace's place -- the cornerstone 'pon which this franchise rests.

* 03 / Chiefs / Jackson, Tyson / DE / 6'4" / 295 / LSU: The Chiefs continue their pursuit of a scary defensive front. Their d-line now sports three first-round picks: last year's KC #1 DT Glenn Dorsey, Liberia-born DE Tamba Hali, and now DE Tyson Jackson. What's the word on this pick from from AFS Kansas City correspondent Kyle Vorak? "Seems like a solid pick," Vorak opined, "but the best pick... Mr. Irrelevant, baby!" Yep, PK Ryan Succop became the 2009 NFL Draft's Mr. Irrelevant by being the final selection. Huzzah! His Irrelevant Week party in Newport Beach this June is pending.