You know that one super scary house in the neighborhood, the one that you'd bolt past on your way home from school, the one no one ever trick or treated at, the one where someone knew some kid who had run up on the porch and rang the bell and now THAT KID IS ON A MILK CARTON?

You do? Well, good for you for growing up in real America or whatever they're calling it these days. We grew up in the suburbs, so we've never seen any houses like that, unless you count all those times we watched that "Halloween" sequel with Busta Rhymes.

That is, not until today. The day before Halloween. Spooooooooky.

But check it out: for only 375K, you can buy the creepiest house in San Francisco. Gaze upon the terror that is that tiny top window (perfect for your hostage to attempt to escape from as you chase behind her with a chainsaw)! And that bizarre netting will be the perfect place for you to build your web to trap your victims, Mothman! Finally, there already seems to be some police tape spanning part of the property, so when the authorities arrive that's one less thing for them to do. We know you monsters/killers/undead are nothing if not concerned with how our civil servants use their time.

We'll even bet that with the proper "persuasion," you could get the Realtor, Vanguard's James Nunemacher (NO. It can't be. Can it? James? This is too good)to let you move in tonight. Just in time for Halloween.

Come in on, kids! Plenty of candy for everyone.