FILM/PARTY: Celebrating "the rebellious nature at the heart of all great filmmaking," SF Shorts (San Francisco International Festival of Short Films) starts tonight with dozens of bite-sized movies - perfect for the fidgety and ADHD-inclined - screening at Red Vic and Victoria Theater. (For a complete schedule, go here.) What's more, The Onion hosts tonight's kickoff party feature FREE BEER and half-priced tickets to the screenings. (Festival ends 8/9.)

6:30 p.m. (party) // Victoria Theater (2961 - 16th Street) // $5

THEATER: Terrence McNally's comedy Bad Habits opens tonight. What's it about? Well, according to Wikipedia, it's a set of two one-act plays: "Dunelawn, a doctor allows his patients to indulge in all their bad habits as means of finding happiness," and "in Ravenswood, a serum is used to provide a cure" for said habits. Hilarity, presumably, ensues. (Runs until 8/20.)

8 p.m. // Theatre Rhinoceros (2926 - 16th Street) // $20 - $25