Dear SF Cabs:

We hate you. But, like, we hate-hate you. We hate you to death. For reals. Why? Because in addition to never having change for a $20, charging too much for a ride from Van Ness and Market to Third and Market, childishly going on strike whenever the city dares to bring in more, much-needed cabs, and for this, you now want to "charge a $1 per passenger fee to offset rising fuel costs." We already have the nation's "second-highest 'flag drop' rate" ($3.10) as it is. So, why would you do this to us, you greedy, selfish, impromptu sociopolitical conversing, chatty bastards?

And, like, do you even want to be in this relationship?

Please drop dead.

Love,
the San Francisco Bay Area