Over in Oakland this morning, a premature newborn was found "unconscious and unresponsive" in a dumpster by a homeless lad looking for recyclables. The dead infant was discovered on the 600 block of 14th Street at around 7:40 a.m. Everyone was all kinds of upset. According to the Merc:

The witness, obviously upset, wondered why the baby was thrown away. "If they didn't want the child, all they had to do was go across the street to the First Unitarian Church. I'm sure they would have taken it in."This is disgusting," he said.

So is diving through a dumpster. Hey oh! But seriously, folks: if you want to ditch little Dylan or Emily, you don't have to be so homicidal about it. In fact, you can relinquish custody of your newborn at fire stations around the Bay Area. We think firefighters now use them instead of dalmatians.

Or you can locate the nearest Safe Surrender Site by gong here. But of course there are certain rules and regulations for abandoning your child. Follow the jump for more legalese on the matter.