The American Academy of Dermatology is launching a new campaign to get girls from 16 to 29 years old (and boys in the same age range who live in district 5) to stop using indoor tanning beds. The campaign is called, fittingly enough, "Indoor Tanning is Out." How so? Because: a) only trash uses indoor tanning facilities, and b) indoor browning is associated with a significant increase in the risk of melanoma. (Though we think the AAD is primarily concerned with the latter.)

Also, every first Monday in May, today, as we're sure you're all aware, is Melanoma Monday. It's a day where we all come together to give ourselves a self-examination for strange moles and patches on our skin. Or if you're too "curvy" to examine yourself properly, you can have a professional do it for you. Visit here to find the nearest free skin cancer screening locale near you.

We just made an appointment with our dermatologist. Who, by the way, tends to spend an unusually long time examining the area around the penis. Or maybe it just seems like a long time. But she does futz around there. A lot. Anyway, she's going to make sure we're cancer-free. We recommend you too doing the same--especially for all you other gingers out there.