But wait, there's more: in addition to joining a family that refers to themselves as a "team," you--a "highly poised, polished, professional, and articulate" cad--will also conduct interviewing, hiring, firing, scheduling, resolving issues, and performance reviews of all household staff; be able to make all bill payments through Quicken (heh); act a grease monkey to their many fine automobiles; help their little brats out at school; assist in the maintenance of organization throughout household (i.e., labeling and organizing CDs, toy-bins, pantry, garage, storage locker etc.); make numerous trips to the pharmacy under an alias (we'll assume), and be this Marina/Cow Hollow clan's self-starting doormat.

And all this and more must be accomplished between a tight 15 to 20 hour week schedule. A firm grasp of reality, it seems, is not a qualification.

But the questions remains: whose family will you get to be a part of? Whose children born into what dynasty will get to call you "mom" or "dad" until you're fired for dipping into the Xanax jar or blowing papa in the conservatory? All these questions and more can be found out if you apply here. We're hoping it's a gig for Vanessa; otherwise, you're pretty much screwed.

For the full CL ad, follow the jump.