First off, our heart goes out to all of you who took the Ferry this morning. Do you need dry some toast or Ginger Ale? Because: barf.

SFist received word from one poor passenger who took the first boat into SF this morning, just before Golden Gate Transit suspended all service. It seems the ride was "bad, which included euphemistic warnings from the Captain 'hold on it’s gonna be a bit bumpy.' Bumpy in Captain’s speak meaning f*ing hold on and make sure your will is current." The wild-ride recipient went on to say that they "got updates from co-workers who took later boats, [describing] the Peet’s Coffee in the Ferry Building as a seasick MASH unit."

Gross. And sad.

And although we recommend you steering clear of city streets today, we also received word that it's similar to driving through an extended car wash. And car washes, as we all know, are the coolest things, ever. One SFist reader tells us that:

There are xmas trees and garbage cans in the street, and like every third stoplight is out [in the Outer Richmond.] And you know who doesn't know how to drive? Everyone, that's who. My one-year-old was very excited though, he thought we were going through the carwash for like an hour.

Clearly, the storm thinks its badass because it's knocked out all tiger-related madness. For now, anyway.