Know the holiday log know God; no holiday log no God.
For all you Xmas celebrating consumerists out there - you know, those of you who participate in the evil practice of stocking stuffing and the early morning unwrapping of gifts - be sure to tune in to TV36 to catch the time-honored holiday log. It will burn from 9 a.m. to noon. What's more, a holiday score will be provided by the likes of Nat King Cole, child abuse practitioner Bing Crosby, smooth Johnny Mathis, and bat-ass crazy Mariah Carey.
And since not all of us have Citizen Kane-sized fireplaces - what, do you think you're Vanessa Getty or something? - this is the next best and the safest alternative. Oh, and it appears that it will run commercial-free, making it safe for all you socioeconomic crises-blithering, clearly altruistic anti-consumerists as well.