"I went pale and nearly vomited," says David Phillips about Larry Craig, an IT geek, bear, and 2006 Metro Weekly Cover Boy of the Year about getting fucked by Sen. Larry Craig many years ago while Phillips of was skinny slip of a thing at George Mason University in 1987. Wonkette has the scoop and all its gory details, which we implore you to read.

But we can't do this neocon fetishist's tale justice. In addition to learning that Craig is a top (?), we also learn that:

-- He had sex with Craig at his home, in his guest room, possibly while his wife was in the house.
-- "As he reached for the door, [Craig] took a $20 bill from his wallet, shoved in [Phillips'] front pocket, adding ‘Remember, I can buy and sell your ass ten thousand times over. You were never here. Don’t try to come back here. You don’t know me.
-- "It was a clumsy and unremarkable fuck."
-- Craig practices safe sex..
-- Closet cases are selfish lovers. Craig "ordered [Phillips] to get dressed without wiping" himself clean afterwards. Ew! What a pig, jerk.

Oh, Larry -- caught in a bear trap that might prove fatal. Well, see you in Guerneville.

Read more about it here.

Thanks for the tip, Alissa!