Happy birthday, Juanita! We would come visit you tonight, but our crippling agoraphobia unfurled just in time for the holiday weekend. Drats! But that doesn't mean that you, dear readers, can't visit her tonight at "Playboy" to wish her all the best, buy her a shot or six of the top-shelf stuff, or dig down deep and give her a bump. (Not that she does that kind of thing, mind you, but everyone likes to be offered one now and then, yes? Yes.)

SFist wishes you a merry evening and a hangover-free morning, Juanita. (MORE! testimonials and her video domination in the New Pornographers "Sing Me Spanish Techno" after the jump!)