I was on Polk and Green yesterday running some errands when I noticed a light blue motorcycle going about 50 miles an hour and popping wheelies. Up and down Polk Street, from about Greenwich to Broadway and back again. What I noticed about this guy second or third time around was that he had a dog on his lap while he was doing all of this. Twice the dog almost fell off the bike as he landed.

So I decide to call the police because I'm an animal lover and stuff like this makes me crazy. But not only was he going to kill this dog but most likely end up causing God knows how much havoc and accidents on the street. It wasn't a shootout in the Mission but it was incredibly effed up and I'm sure illegal in many ways.

So I call the non-emergency police number I have stored in my phone, which is disconnected. Then I remember 211 and how it is San Francisco's saving grace and the answer to all our problems. All I get is Verizon telling me the number is not in service. I call again, thinking I did something wrong. Same response. []

Then I call 411, ask for a non-emergency number, and they give me 553.0123, connect me, and I get a recording in 27 different languages, and then what sounded like a fax signal with no end. I call again. Same thing.

So I decide to call 911. I figure I'm allowed at this point. I'm put on hold after another recording in 27 languages. I call again. Same thing.

Did our reader ever get to an actual person to report the situation? Find out, after the jump.

ed. note: we think our reader meant to call 311, not 211, but 211 should be working!