Mark Pope, the guy who co-founded Quark Software, was working in his Pac Heights mansion last week when he heard some weird noises and looked out the window and saw a car (a red BMW convertible) that was exactly the same as his, only in significantly better condition.

Suspicious, Pope called the cops -- and it turned out some guy had broken into the house and tried to steal "a cast-iron Victorian garden bench, an iron fireplace door, a silver-plated water pitcher and a mah-jongg game in an ornate case."

The SFPD came and caught the suspect, who had a piece of the mah-jongg set in his pocket. The suspect told the cops he was an antiques dealer and had thought the house was abandoned, but Pope described that alibi as "malarkey."

Mr. Pope sounds kind of old-school, with the "malarkey" and the mah-jongg set and all. We imagine he's got an upholstered armchair with those little raised brass buttons along the edges in the same study where the thief was pilfering.