It's time for American Football Spectacular's capsule reviews of the 2007 NFL Draft. Adventure, excitement,! All hard information was culled from NFL.com's pretty excellent draft tracker site. Proceed.
* Selection # / Team (trade info) / Player / Position / Height / Weight / School
* 01 / Oakland / Russell, JaMarcus / QB / 6-6 / 263 / Louisiana State: Sorry, JaMarcus; the Raiders only picked up one offensive lineman in the draft. So, uh, now you've got that guy and Jeremy Newberry to add to last year's offensive line unit. Start buying pain medication in bulk now, my friend, 'cause you will be sacked a lot this coming season. On the bright side for Oakland, have you seen how well the Golden State Warriors are doing?
* 02 / Detroit / Johnson, Calvin / WR / 6-4 / 237 / Georgia Tech: The founder of K Records and a key member of the Northwestern indie rock scene, it will be intriguing to see how well Johnson excels within Detroit offensive coordinator Mad Mike Martz's multi-receiver pass patterns. (Har, har.) Now seriously, either Calvin Johnson has the talent to be a success wherever they go, but Detroit's legacy of leadership futility makes it specifically difficult to succeed there. Fire Millen!
* 03 / Cleveland / Thomas, Joe / OT / 6-6 / 313 / Wisconsin: Went fishin' with his Dad for draft day rather than dealing with the New York City draft spectacle. Smart guy.
* 04 / Tampa Bay / Adams, Gaines / DE / 6-5 / 260 / Clemson: The Bucs coveted WR Calvin Johnson, but'll settle for a new defensive edge-rusher to succeed the aging pass-rushing DE Simeon Rice.
* 05 / Arizona / Brown, Levi / OT / 6-4 / 328 / Penn State: Must protect pretty QB Leinart. So, they got this guy.
* 06 / Washington / Landry, LaRon / FS / 6-2 / 205 / Louisiana State: Sure must suck to be a Washington fan. After wasting a bunch of money on free agent safety Adam Archuleta last season, Washington spends its first-rounder on another safety.
* 07 / Minnesota / Peterson, Adrian / RB / 6-2 / 218 / Oklahoma: A speedy power-back with a history of injuries, this guy is the new Priest Holmes. What that means is this caveat: sure he's great; but how long will he last?
* 08 / Atlanta (from Houston) / Anderson, Jamaal / DE / 6-6 / 279 / Arkansas: The Falcons have been trying to buy or draft a pass rush for the past couple years. Maybe this'll do'er.
* 09 / Miami / Ginn Jr., Ted / WR / 6-0 / 180 / Ohio State: Surprise! On her couch in Chicago, Jessica shouted at her television in disbelief. We don't blame her. The Dolphins needneedneedNEEED a quarterback above all else! Yet instead of picking up ND's uber-touted QB Brady Quinn, Miami picks up a speedster receiver coming off a debilitating leg injury. Who-the-wha-now? Hmph. Extremely high-risk, with poor odds of good results. This pick will determine how the the history of the 2007 NFL Draft is remembered.
* 12 / Buffalo / Lynch, Marshawn / RB / 5-11 / 217 / California: Cal's own Marshawn goes to Buffalo to replace Willis McGahee at running back, and appreciate the musical canon of Ani DiFranco.
* 13 / St. Louis / Carriker, Adam / DE / 6-6 / 292 / Nebraska: A big, meaty defensive end from Nebraska, Carriker's name is a lot more fun if you imagine Homestar Runner saying it out loud. Try!
Photo of Patrick Willis via sf49ers.com
All the rest from round one after the jump.