We're friends, right? Yeah, sure we are. That's why we've got to have this little talk. Look, we love you, of course, but we can't just sit idly by and watch what you're doing to yourself. For crying out loud, you're just one green umbrella away from shaving your head and attacking your ex's car!
Wait, don't start crying. It won't help. We're on a roll. You can't stop us now.
Let's talk about your user interface, for example. It sucks. Just look at your front page -- what the hell is going on there? Did you even plan out an attention map, like a good website should, or did you make a vomitous unreadable collage on purpose?
Stop sobbing, for heaven's sake. We haven't even gotten to the really bad parts.bad