So we're reading this morning in the Chronicle about the "Frozen Bun Run" on Bethel Island in Contra Costa County, where fun-loving polar bears go water-skiing on the Sacramento River every New Year's Day. And here's the paragraphs that caught our eye:

Take Josh Wolf. With the water at 47 degrees and the air outside at a comparatively balmy 49.2 degrees, Wolf decided he didn't need to wear his shorts while wakeboarding in front of the thousand or so spectators.

With a lifejacket around his chest and his shorts around his ankles, Wolf drew loud applause for a forward flip he attempted toward the end of his 3-minute run. He didn't stick the landing.

Climbing back into the orange ski boat with his trunks back on, Wolf said he didn't feel any pain, thanks to the cold and the Bloody Mary in his bloodstream.

"I'm numb," he said. Then he shivered before summing up the problem with naked wintertime water skiing: "Shrinkage."

Man, minimum-security federal prison is a lot better than we thought it was!

Yes, yes, we know, it's probably another Josh Wolf. And it's probably too much to hope for that there was also another naked cold-water water skier named Mark Fainaru-Wada, right?