Dujuan Wagner, Adonal Foyle, and Zarko Cabarkapa are riding the pine in suits tonight. For the opposition Lakers, Kobe won't play, and Phil Jackson, Kwame Brown, and Aaron McKie, and Chris Mihm may not even make the trip. JRich is probable, maybe, hopefully.

Another meaningless preseason game? Nope, it's opening night tonight for the Warriors at the Oracle. Here's everything you need to know, from the Warriors perspective, and from ours.

The Warriors hope to start the long road back to respectability tonight in the tip-off to the 2006-2007 season. Photo from espn.com.

The Warriors went 0-4 against the Fake's last year, so this is the perfect opportunity to get the season started off on the right foot, and it's a great chance to start making a dent in one of the areas of improvement that we identified for the team. But uh-oh, we've got the Lakers winning the Pacific Division over the Suns and Clippers this year, and last night, without their main man, the Fakers took down the Dry Heat with a come-from-behind victory. Damn those Fakers, damn them all to hell!

Oh yeah, the first 10,000 fans through the turnstiles get a free Warriors schedule magnet! That's almost worth paying $6 for BART, $75 for a ticket, and $9 for a beer. A free Warriors schedule magnet -- good to see the team is already putting all that Oracle money back into the team and the community. Supposedly, shitty nosebleeds are still available, if you're interested. The Google appears rife with them.

But since The Warriors are on TV more than 70 times this year, including tonight on FSN Bay Area, and you can also hear the game on KNBR 680 radio, we're going to avoid the traffic, save a little money, load up on free food, enjoy quick bathroom access, and not have to worry about a designated driver while we watch the Goldies hammer the Fakers from the spacious comfort of our recliner. Tip-off is at 7:30. See you there.